Delayed orgasm is defined by experiencing a significant and unwanted delay before orgasm or being unable to orgasm at all during solo or partnered sex.
Taking longer to orgasm than you'd like, or not being able to orgasm, is sometimes referred to as delayed orgasm. If you have a penis, this is also referred to as delayed or inhibited ejaculation. However, there is wide variation in what people consider taking "too long" to ejaculate or orgasm. People have different preferences for how long they would like sex to last and there is no defined length of time for how long sex should last. However, research studies have found that the average length of time it takes for someone with a penis to ejaculate during sexual intercourse ranges from 2-7 minutes. It is normal for orgasm to take a little longer if you’re older, tired, stressed, or have recently orgasmed.
This programme includes information about what can cause and contribute to difficulties with orgasming later than you would like, help you to understand how your difficulties may have developed and are being maintained, as well as psychosexual sex therapy based practical exercises which help to improve these difficulties.
Who can access this programme
Our interactive programmes are currently only available via referral to eligible patients of CNWL Sexual Health Services. New patients will need to visit one of our clinics in Camden and Islington, Haringey or Barnet in the first instance for a general sexual health screen. For more information about our clinics please click here.
If you are not a patient of our sexual health services, you can still access information about sexual difficulties, downloadable self-help booklets and further resources on the STL website. If you live within London, here is a guide to alternative NHS services which are available within the area. This guide also provides details for country-wide self-funded support. If you live outside of London you can seek support for sexual difficulties by speaking with your GP or attending your local sexual health clinic.
What this programme includes
Stage 1 - Assessment
- Questions about you, your health and wellbeing, and your sexual difficulties
- A medical letter to download
Stage 2 – Psychoeducation
- What can cause difficulties with delayed orgasm?
- What causes arousal and orgasms?
- What might be contributing to my difficulties with delayed orgasm?
- Worrying thoughts
- The vicious cycle
- Conditions for good sex
- What other factors don’t help?
- Review
Stage 3 - Exercises to complete alone
- Mindfulness
- Mindfulness of sexual sensations
- Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles
- Experimenting with reducing masturbation
- Bridging the gap between solo and partnered sex
- Review
Stage 4 - Exercises you can do with a partner (if relevant for you)
- Communicating with partners
- Working together
- Making an agreement together
- Getting reacquainted
- Building on sensate focus
- Sharing your conditions for good sex
- Review
Stage 5 – Reflection and evaluation
- Reflection –what has been helpful and what to take forward
- Evaluation of your progress
- What next?