Coming (ejaculating) sooner than you'd like is sometimes referred to as early or premature ejaculation. However, there is wide variation in what people consider "too quickly". For some, it might be ejaculating during ‘foreplay’, while for others it might mean after several minutes of penetration.
People have different preferences for how long they like sex to last and there is no defined length of time for how long sex should last. However, research studies have found that the average length of time it takes to ejaculate during sexual intercourse ranges from 2-7 minutes. However, it is normal for ejaculation to be at the lower end of this if you’re younger, tired, stressed, highly aroused or it’s been a while since the last time you came.
Physical causes include:
- Urological and prostate problems
- Genetic factors
- Neurological factors (e.g. levels of serotonin) or conditions (such as traumatic brain injury)
- Hormone levels
- Lifestyle factors, such as smoking, alcohol and recreational drug use, and poor nutrition
Psychological causes include:
- Stress, depression, and anxiety.
- Tiredness
- Worries about sexual performance, using condoms, and STIs
- Not being aroused by the situation, feeling sexually bored, or other feelings about your sexual practices and partners
- Relationship problems
- Having other things on your mind and not being able to be in the sexual moment
- Unresolved feelings about living with an STI or HIV
- Beliefs about sex (for example, that it is shameful)
- Unwanted, or negative, previous sexual experiences
It is important to have a medical assessment by an appropriately trained medical professional, such as a specialist in sexual problems, to ascertain the role of any physical or medical factors contributing to coming sooner than you want to. Your GP may be able to help with this, or signpost you to a specialist service.