Orgasms vary in intensity, frequency and the amount of stimulation needed to orgasm. Most people with vaginas and vulvas (approximately 80%) need direct or indirect clitoral stimulation and are not able to orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Some have never been able to have an orgasm, and some are able to have an orgasm on their own but not with a partner.

Anorgasmia is the medical term for difficulties reaching orgasm.

If you’re having difficulties having orgasms, or are concerned about the intensity of them, it can be useful to consider the following possible physical and psychological causes.

  • An underlying medical problem such as heart disease, multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s disease. 
  • Medications to treat depression, high blood pressure, psychosis, or allergies.
  • Major surgery for example, surgery to remove the ovaries and womb in women.
  • Gynaecological problems (for example, endometriosis).
  • Lifestyle factors, such as smoking, alcohol and recreational drug use, and poor nutrition.
  • Pregnancy, giving birth, and breast feeding. 
  • Ageing and changes in hormones

  • Stress, depression, and anxiety.
  • Tiredness
  • Not being aroused by the situation, feeling sexually bored, or other feelings about your sexual practices and partners
  • Relationship problems
  • Having other things on your mind and not being able to be in the sexual moment
  • Having another sexual difficulty, or your partner experiencing sexual difficulties
  • Beliefs about sex (for example, that it is shameful)
  • Body image concerns
  • Unwanted, or negative, previous sexual experiences

For further information or support, see: