Is it normal to experience pain the first time you have penetrative sex?
It is fairly common to experience some pain or discomfort the first time you have penetrative sex. If you grew up hearing stories about sex being painful this can sometimes lead to painful experiences of sex — because when we are expecting pain we are less likely to get turned on. Feeling worried or anxious about any aspect of penetrative sex or attempting penetration before being turned on enough can also lead to some pain or discomfort.
Should I try and ‘push through the pain’?
It is important not to continue having penetrative sex that is painful. Many people feel under pressure from their partner or themselves to ‘push through the pain’. This can increase the association your body has with sex being painful, and lead to more anxiety around sex. Focus instead on types of sexual touch that are not painful and give you pleasure while you seek support to overcome the difficulties with penetration.
How can I practise safer sex?
There are a number of ways in which you can have safer sex in order to protect yourself and partners from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and from unwanted pregnancy. These include using condoms, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), to protect against the transmission of HIV, and different contraceptive methods.
In this booklet, we have chosen not to refer to any one of these specific methods, and encourage you to make your own decisions about protecting yourself and others in each instance of sexual activity you undertake. Your local sexual health clinic can provide you with free STI testing and information and advice on practising safer sex.